3/30 Untitled

My daughter, a teenager now, said she didn't want me to ask about her. She said I was being a helicopter mom. I didn't realize that my caring and desire to be a concerned parent was such a bad thing. I always wanted to give my youth their own space to grow but still be there to nurture, guide and support them. So I didn't really know how to take what my daughter said. She is the youngest of my three. They grow up so fast.

I wrote my 3/30 with this on my mind. It's untitled. I hope it makes sense. There's no guide on how to parent. It's more than watering seeds. I'm not a perfect parent, no parent is. Most just want better for there children, that's my true desire.

3/30

Just as water seeps into the ground
Sun warming earth
Creating an environment so profound
A seedling touched
new life proceeds

Watching my belly grow
Never did I foresee
parenting in me
I remembered how it was
For me
Growing up
I wanted something different
Not be the same as my parents
Where would I start?

Feeling your movement
My blood pulsing through your veins
Filling my soul with joy as I realized
That God had chosen me
Paired me with a new soul

All I thought was what would I do?
How could I ever prepare myself for this kind of new.
Then I saw your face and when you opened your eyes
It was mine that you met for the first time.
To conceive is a natural progression
Just like learning, growing and rising to meet the sun.

My star was born
Sprung from my universe
I didn't know and often wondered how far my light would shine
But as I watched you grow
All the unknowns were not filled with fear
An innate feeling, just like a flower that grows not knowing if it will bloom
I felt it, I knew it
Because all I see
is me in you.

Parenting

Being a parent is very surreal. You can imagine being one all you want but when you actually look at a replication of yourself there is both a wow and a whoa factor.

You know how you grew up, what you have learned and what you were taught. You know how you react, your mannerisms and quirks. To think that your mini-me, regardless the gender, is your reflection; yet so much different than you are. It's amazing, watching a child, your child or children grow. How they adapt, what they take in, how they react, what they give back.

There is a mixture of you and your ways in them, yet they are unique. Sometimes it can be the best or worst of both worlds. Or if you have more than one child, each child takes on different or similar traits as you.

It's surreal I tell ya, me a parent. Wow and whoa, yet they are mine and I am them. Give thanks.