My daughter, a teenager now, said she didn't want me to ask about her. She said I was being a helicopter mom. I didn't realize that my caring and desire to be a concerned parent was such a bad thing. I always wanted to give my youth their own space to grow but still be there to nurture, guide and support them. So I didn't really know how to take what my daughter said. She is the youngest of my three. They grow up so fast.
I wrote my 3/30 with this on my mind. It's untitled. I hope it makes sense. There's no guide on how to parent. It's more than watering seeds. I'm not a perfect parent, no parent is. Most just want better for there children, that's my true desire.
3/30
Just as water seeps into the ground
Sun warming earth
Creating an environment so profound
A seedling touched
new life proceeds
Watching my belly grow
Never did I foresee
parenting in me
I remembered how it was
For me
Growing up
I wanted something different
Not be the same as my parents
Where would I start?
Feeling your movement
My blood pulsing through your veins
Filling my soul with joy as I realized
That God had chosen me
Paired me with a new soul
All I thought was what would I do?
How could I ever prepare myself for this kind of new.
Then I saw your face and when you opened your eyes
It was mine that you met for the first time.
To conceive is a natural progression
Just like learning, growing and rising to meet the sun.
My star was born
Sprung from my universe
I didn't know and often wondered how far my light would shine
But as I watched you grow
All the unknowns were not filled with fear
An innate feeling, just like a flower that grows not knowing if it will bloom
I felt it, I knew it
Because all I see
is me in you.
